my malt tolerance level...

    or my alcohol tolerance level rather...
    i noticed it's getting lower and lower...

    i first tasted alochol when i was in second year high school. it was followed when we went to the beach after the school year with my barkada. i seldom drank after that and even during my college days.

    i started drinking too much when i entered law school. 
they said that a law student's bestfriends are coffee and beer. true in my case because i do like coffee and beer (mind you, i never really liked coffee when i was young too, law school  
    brought me to coffee. maybe after this i'd make an entry for my "caffeine tolerance level" .) but now, it seems like beer doesn't like me anymore.

    bluntly saying, i think it all began after my first year in law school. after the exam, we went out with my classmates and drank until the wee hours of the morning. a couple of drinking sessions followed every after two days, three days or three days consecutively.  so long as the drinking mood was with us.

    i guess i indulged myself into it because of a certain person. don't get me wrong, i am not blaming him. at first, i went with the group to get to know one person better. and it did made me know him better, only a teeny weeny bit. then one stupid day, he became my boyfriend. we broke up, and then my drinking went worse, we met each other again, then the drinking never stopped. in a week, i drank once or twice. i love it when i puke after a thought or a picture of him pops into my mind. joke.

    i've got plenty of options to choose from when it came to that person, i could have even stabbed him right in front! just kidding, i might be regarded again as bitter by people. drinking was at the top of my list. and just when it tops, the rest of the choices don't matter anymore, they all just disappear...
   
    february 2007, i still drank. but the drinking lessened. valentines day, i was dumped. it could have been a more cogent reason to swim with beer. but i don't know,  it just lessened. yeah i got dumped, nevertheless, i was happy because i got what i have been waiting for since time immemorial --- closure.

    and so the more less i drank, the tolerance went lower. you would ask me then, am i happy with the result? i don't know, i just feel indifferent. i drank last night, and this morning i puked. everytime i puked, i promised my self not to get drunk again for the mean time.

    would my drinking be history in the future? oh my parents would love that! but nah, i don't think so. i will still drink, but not as frequent as i used to do.
what's important is --- i have forgiven my self.. please don't take that back away.